I am dust

Never had i thought about my current course, never had i imagined that death would be so close. If someone had said that i would be on the verge of death a year ago i would have said that yeah sure death is inevitable and always lurking around, like your usual philosophy reader saying all those things they memorized from books, pretending to understand anything written without experiencing it. Haha that would be me an year ago. But here i am now, laying unconscious bleeding, beaten, bloodied, regaining my conscious momentarily. It’s been a long bloody and painful night, however i think the end is here; i feel ecstasy. I see lights then it’s dark again, and repeat. I hear people screaming then it’s deafening silence again, and repeat. I breath some air then it’s blood in my mouth, and repeat. Every part is screaming with pain and blood and is blue, green, red. I’m sure none of my beloved ones can even recognise me in my current state.

Last sigh of relief as i feel the pain leaving my body. Never had i imagined taking my last breath was so serene, so peaceful, so liberating. Each deep inhale i feel the pain building up to leave like a truck loading with goods before departure, and each exhale feels like freedom. My legs rest at first, then my arms, now my chest and finally my head is light as a feather and i inhale deep sigh. So this is what heaven is, the 0.001 second of peace, where i see everyone i loved for the last time, i see the holy texts were right. Though we misunderstood the timeline, as it only lasts a fraction of a second which feels like eternity. I am dust, i am gone.